After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
