he wants to bone in the snuggie
home. puking in laundry basket.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
