another moral hangover. fuck.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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