we're blogging at a bar
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
