I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
A bitchslap is in order.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
