stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
