one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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