the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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