so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
