dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
