i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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