What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
