How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
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We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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