this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
