The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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