Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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