she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
