Dual....:-)
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
