Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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