If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
