I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize