The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
