I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
