I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize