I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
