I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
