i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I need moral support for this bender
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
