He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
