his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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