At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
