You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
