it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Randomize
