I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
