just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
