All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize