Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
