I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We just shotgunned beers for America
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
