what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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