he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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