That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
