if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
