remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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