Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
