Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize