Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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