Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
