WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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