White coat. Heels.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
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Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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