He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
