My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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