a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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