Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i've created a new STD.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
