whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
