I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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