Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
