wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's official drugs can't kill me
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
