My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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