Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
