Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
