Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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