Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
