you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
