Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
