Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
